Politics: The buck (bull) stops here

"But when I was in England I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn't like it. I didn't inhale it, and never tried it again." - Bill Clinton

"That depends on what your definition of 'is' is," - Bill Clinton

"I walk softly and carry a big stick." - "Teddy" Roosevelt

"I am not a crook," - Richard Nixon

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but millions volunteered to get rid of anything dark.

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but it'll be a hundred years before electricity makes it to the area.

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One for the labor and one to borrow a billion dollars for the materials.

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
260. One who already wants to change the light bulb, and 259 politicians to make a law forcing him to do it.

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Change is evil and we should leave the light bulb as it is.

How many naked Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one guy to do the screwing and Richard Curtis to "help him out."

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One takes a working bulb out of another light and gives it to the other Republican, and then both lights get new bulbs by magic.


You might be a Republican if...
You've named your kids Deduction One and Deduction Two.
You might be a Republican if...
You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.
You might be a Republican if...
You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.
You might be a Republican if...
You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.
You might be a Republican if...
You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."
You might be a Republican if...
You think Huey Newton is a cookie.
You might be a Republican if...
You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.
You might be a Republican if...
You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."
You might be a Republican if...
You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
You might be a Republican if...
You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
You might be a Republican if...
You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.
You might be a Republican if...
You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.
You might be a Republican if...
You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.
You might be a Republican if...
You've ever called education a luxury.
You might be a Republican if...
You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
You might be a Republican if...
You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.
You might be a Republican if...
When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."

S**t S**t S**t S**t S**t

Tueting found out about the Shadow Blog. This was because my partner in crime left a printout about Reagan from the blog in Tueting's printer. While I forgive aforementioned person for his careless actions this does eliminate the primary function of the blog. While he thought most of it was funny the "Jefferson is my hero" and "Sherman is evil" stuff seemed to piss him off (for obvious reasons). Unfortunately he made us put a disclaimer on the heading so any of the crap we write cannot be atributed to him. We (Atomic Dead Head and I) have decided to continue the blog with the disclaimer on it. As for the APUS Exam I have been working my ass off for the past week and a half for this thing and anything short of a four would be divine retribution from God/Allah/Buddha/Jehovah/Ahura Mazda/Zeus/Jupiter/Marduk/Quetzalcoatl/Thor/Sekhmet (Go multiculturalism!). I hope all my peeps rock out tomorrow at the exam.
peace,
K.A.B.K.

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This weekend was quite possibly the second greatest weekend since the beginning of the school year. The first being the extended weekend of musical (woot!) This Friday I got my fully operational car back from the garage. Said car has been sitting in front of our house for over two years and last week my mom finally got around to having it towed to a garage. The repair cost was around $3500 which is far more than its actual value but less than most used cars on the lot and much more reliable than those of similar price. Compared to my mom's car it handles tight turns better and the signal lights turn off when the wheel comes back to center. However the accelerator is less responsive and breaking requires greater and longer pressure for a smooth stop. Several joy rides on Saturday were the only real dividers between yard work and APUS studying. Hope all my peeps aren't getting too stress out over the AP test.
Peace,
K.A.B.K.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
-Don Marquis

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
-Mike Myers